September 17th, 2010
The Pope is a Tea Partier??!!
Why didn’t somebody warn me about this??! WTF?
Yesterday His Somethingness, Pope Benedict (talk about the name not fitting the person) went over a litany of textbook Tea Party complaints during a rally, er… “mass,” in London.
Among these were: that religion is being marginalized (specially Christianity), that the “secularists” are out to suffocate religion’s voice, and my all-time favorite…THAT XMAS IS UNDER ATTACK!!!!!
Quick! Somebody call Bill O’Reilly! The Pope has stolen his writing team!! OMG, I never imagined I would enjoy so much a speech by a Pope!
OK. So before I go off subject, here are some quick numbers on Christianity:
- Adherents: 2.2 billion (32% of 6.7 billion humans)
- Vatican Bank‘s assets: $3.4 billion (this doesn’t reflect dividends, art treasures and other gains)
- Christians who live under impoverished conditions: 1.3 billion (aprox.)
- Growth rate of Christians in the World: 2.3%
- Hypocrisy of the Vatican: incalculable.
So I think I have a solution for the poor Pope’s predicament. Why don’t we take $2 billion, out of those 3.4, and give $10,000 to every poor family on the planet? Wait, wait, I’m not done… We do it during Christmas!! Bada-bing! That would solve his two problems in one swoop.
Can you imagine?